One of the most popular questions for those of us in recovery is “Are we going to struggle forever”? There’s much debate about this. The definition of alcoholism states that this is a chronic and often progressive disease that includes problems controlling your drinking, being preoccupied with alcohol, continuing to use alcohol even when it causes problems, having to drink more to get the same effect (physical dependence), or having withdrawal symptoms when you rapidly decrease or stop drinking. If you have alcoholism, you can’t consistently predict how much you’ll drink, how long you’ll drink, or what consequences will occur from your drinking. Did I fit this definition? Yes! Do I believe that I have a disease that I will battle for the rest of my life? No! Many theories teach that there is no cure for the disease of alcoholism and I just can’t wrap my head around this and I will explain why.
2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”
He does not say in his word come to me and bring all your crap with you! He clearly states that we become new creations! He takes all of our baggage from us if we let him! Its our choice. I’m sure there will be others in recovery who disagree but I don’t believe in letting our addictions continue being our crutches. We can’t blame every single mistake we’ve made on our addictions and we can’t blame others for our problems either. I know for me no one was holding a gun to my head and forcing me to drink. I could have said no but I chose not too. The longer my addiction went on of course it became even harder to resist. I’m not saying that addictions are easy peasy to fight because there not but I am saying that we have to take responsibility for our choices. If we keep blaming our problems on the addiction then yes I think we will fight this battle for the rest of our lives!
Tough love is at times necessary. God has revealed to me what my mindset was like in my past and how I was constantly having a pity party. That’s not who I am! I am strong and I don’t want people to ever feel sorry for me. I spent so many years blaming my addictions for my problems, blaming my parents for my problems, and blaming my husband for my problems. I was desperate to change but i thought that the addictions were too strong for me to conquer and they were until I came back to my savior! I have spent a lifetime blaming all three of my parents for every mistake I have ever made! Were my parents perfect? No, but no parent is! I don’t deny hating every minute of my childhood but I no longer blame them for my mistakes. They aren’t the same and I am not the same. I love and honor my parents and I know I have their support on this journey. Lastly, the blame I put on my husband was fierce! I wanted to hurt him because I felt hurt by him. I felt like he didn’t love me correctly. I thought I had married the wrong man and it wasn’t until God started working on my heart and I started receiving counseling from my amazing mentor that I realized that my husband wasn’t my biggest problem. I was! The man I married is not the most affectionate guy and he has a sarcastic sense of humor (that is only funny in his mind) but he’s been exactly who God needed him to be for me. He didn’t give up on me even though I was on a mission to make him hate me. He should have divorced me for everything I’ve put him through but he’s still here. We by no means have a fairytale romance but God is working on us. My pastor’s wife pointed out to me the other day if he had any other type of personality he would have let me go.
I’m prepared for some tough days in my recovery but I know that God has my back and he’s delivering me from my addictions. I’m not going to fight this forever because I serve a God who makes all things new! He sent his son to die for sinners like me so that his blood would cover my sins and I don’t take that for granted! I will not sit around having a pity party for myself and I will take ownership of my mistakes and pray that anyone that I’ve hurt in my past will in time be able to forgive me. I will wake up each day thankful for my new beginning and praising God for this amazing life he has given me!