Using all of the wisdom from your life experiences up to this point, from walking miles in your own shoes, what would you say if you could go back in time and give a younger version of yourself some advice? A few phrases immediately pop into my mind like “Please don’t do this!” “You will regret this someday!” “Girl that boy is no good for you!
I was recently encouraged by a mentor to do a live video giving my younger self (my 22-year-old self to be exact) some advice. So my video was short and sweet because I’m not quite at the “comfortable talking into the camera” stage yet (I will get there) but I wanted to elaborate a little further with what I really wanted to say to my young, 22-year-old self.
Let me tell you about 22-year-old Misty……
I had gotten married at 19 and was going through a divorce at 22. In hindsight it was absolutely for the best but that didn’t make it easy. I was scared. I didn’t have a car. I didn’t have a job. What I did have though was a sick baby. I had to leave my job when my daughter’s hospital visits became more frequent and she required medicine to control her seizures that had home health nurses dropping by twice a week. Fortunately for us that time of really hard didn’t last and when the separation began I was able to go back to work. I mean what choice was there?
It may sound odd but I’ve always been so thankful for that season of my life. I learned independence. I had never truly been on my own before. I had gone straight from living with my parents to living with a man. This was my first time to be flying solo and I was doing it with a baby!
I worked in a nursing home as a CNA & CMA and let me tell you how much respect I have for all women/men in that field! Its hard work! I was exhausted all the time but I loved the people I took care of and many of them were always praying for my daughter and me!
Their prayers and the prayers of many others were working. Haylee was developing! My amazing cousin hooked me up with a sweet ride! Which at this point I really can’t remember the type of car it was but it was older and got me from point a to point b! She lasted me until I was able to purchase my first vehicle on my own and I even finally made it out of my (majorly spider filled) old duplex apartment and into a much nicer place in a college town where I started my cosmetology journey.
Through this journey I definitely became strong but one thing I didn’t learn to do until much later in life was love myself. I was head strong in every aspect of my life except when it came to men. It wasn’t until I went through “MAJOR” counseling after I decided to start recovery that I finally dealt with my issues with low self-worth and this unhealthy need to feel wanted/accepted by men. I know I’m not the only girl in the world who has dealt with this issue because I see girls just like me everyday. Girls thinking they will find their worth in a man.
I seriously lucked out with my husband. Actually I don’t believe in luck or coincidence. I know it was a God thing…but I was the girl who could pick a beautiful loser from miles away but not him. He’s different. He never yells at me. Ever. He’s been working hard at the same job for well over 10 years to make sure he can provide for his family. The simple fact that he was different from what I had grown accustomed too threw my unhealthy mind and heart for a loop. There are seriously men that keep a consistent job? Men that pay bills and buy food before any sort of “fun” or “extra”? Men that don’t think life is one big party? What is this madness?!
Although I believe that everything we’ve experienced has taken place for a reason, I do wish that girl could have loved herself earlier. Lots of mistakes could have been prevented. If I could go back and give her advice I would tell her that she is amazing, strong, beautiful, brave, a great mom, and that she is going to make it! That someday she will be bold and confidant without alcohol. I would tell her that someday she will have a life filled with purpose that she is dreaming about. Everything I know she needed to hear. Everything I needed to hear.
Friend, maybe you are in a similar situation as my 22-year-old self. Maybe you’re a single momma and you are wondering if you will ever find anyone to love you and your little ones. Here’s my advice….seek God. Stop searching for your worth in this world because it already lies within him. Your creator. God created marriage and he created it to be a partnership. Each having specific roles to compliment each other. God did not create man to save woman. He sent Jesus for that sister. Stop right now….Today….Seeking a man to take care of you and start seeking God with everything you have. In God’s perfect timing he will send you your husband.
I don’t want you to forget that you are worthy! Not because of who we are but of who he is! Lastly friend you are ENOUGH. You are more than ENOUGH. You are so ENOUGH. You are going to make it!